Monday, March 27, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
Toddler Tantrums!
One of my favorite virtual readings includes an excellent site on child development. It keeps me abreast of what’s the latest, keeps me informed and consequently helps me understand the developments of my very own child. I laugh, cry, question, agree, disagree and wonder as I bury myself in the parents’ forum.
I’ve moved myself up to the next level. Welcome toddler development, goodbye baby (although my readings are quite faster than David’s growth). David was still a newborn when I got fascinated by the parents’ exchanges on how they handle toddler tantrums. I laughed at the different tactics parents employ and panicked at the scenarios they went through when their toddler throws a wild fit in public places. My oh my, possibly I’ll be heading on the same road too.
It was only the other day I realized I actually am already there! The realization came when I noticed myself yelling most of the time, feeling downright sad and angry and seemingly lost on seeing David going through this sudden rush of volcanic emotions accompanied by new mean behaviors. It used to be easy calming him down, and now I struggle. Bewildered. Lost.
Simple things piss him off. Blocks flying all over the floor because he wants to build a plane and it looks like a house in the end. I open his box of biscuits and he screams, only to find out later he wanted to open it himself. He wants to see something particular on his film and he kicks, wiggles because I didn’t understand what he was saying. He rolls on the floor screaming because I emptied his toy-box when he wanted to do it instead. He puts his ten little fingers in his mouth, red-faced, crying because I put Barney not Mammoth (Ice Age) in the dvd player. (When in fact he asked for Barney). All these behavioral changes had put me into confusion. Usually, I just gave him a hug and say “mama loves you!” and that was enough to calm him down. But now even this is a struggle. He pushes me away and gets even angrier! I never employ chocolates, candies and lollies as tools for negotiation. In fact, perhaps we are the only household with a toddler who doesn’t have a single sweet hidden in cupboards.
Of course David’s changes dominate my conversation with hubby. I raised brows several times with how he dealt with our son throwing fits and he did the same to me as I dealt with the little one.
I went to my favorite site again for some enlightenment. Perhaps I was just searching some reassurances that all parents have gone through these. And I feel indeed reassured. I sent the link to my hubby, beg him to read it during his free time at work. He called few minutes later and appreciated what he has learnt. And I feel so much better. Of course, it doesn’t mean we are experts and well-equipped to face future outbursts. What ever storms we’ll be facing, at least, we have an understanding what our little toddler is going through and we’ll take it from there! Well, the truth is, it’s going to be a trial and error approach. And I think it’s fair enough for all the parties 
For a start, I’m considering wearing an armor to protect myself from flying blocks, cars and books ~_^
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Have you ever tried searching your own name on a search engine?
I double-quoted my name, first and second, on yahoo and I get to dominate the whole page. I improvised on google and type only the first, and I’m like everywhere. As I reached page 12, I’m being mentioned 10 times! Nothing is alarming as I recognized the descriptions below my highlighted-underlined name. Either it’s in my blog, comments I left on other bloggers, my son’s personal website or other sites I created.
At the time of writing, as I reached page 8 on google search engine, my heart skip a bit. I see me being mentioned but under a not-so-familiar territory. I clicked en cache to see it directly and breathe a sigh of relief. Well, I thought I was in big trouble. But no, it’s Irene, a favorite blogging mother, who mentioned some of her favorite posts.
You got me there Irene! I thought for a minute there I’m in for trouble. Thank you for mentioning that silly video. It’s one of my favorites too!
** Until now it still gives me an uneasy feeling having my name available by just a click of a mouse. Go make your search too
Monday, March 20, 2006
Death comes twice!!
But it doesn’t stop the nagging feeling inside and the fear of confronting that particular dream. I seldom make the same sort of dream for two nights in a row and it disturbs me even more knowing I dreamt of our little David and my SIL who is already dead. Because I rarely dream about them. I don’t remember dreaming about David before and as to my dead SIL, it happened twice only.
Friday night in my dream world, someone was holding David like a hostage. I heard my mother shouting he was going to stab my little one. I turned away for fear of seeing it happening. And he did it! I didn’t see it happen; I just heard the screaming anger of my mother. The next thing I know mom and I were stabbing the person with a knife! But there was no blood!
I woke up panting, crying, my heart galloping inside my ribcage! It took me a long time to go back to sleep, I was there holding, listening to the rhythmic sound of my son’s breathing sleeping beside me. And feeling the nagging, painful thrust of pain behind my right eye. Migraine.
Saturday night. After my birthday celebration, I went straight to bed with a migraine dulled by medicine and champagne (I know bad cocktail). Then I was on a roof with David during a height of a battle. War planes were hovering all over us like fireflies. Shooting, chaos, screams. People were running for their lives! We got hit! I and David. There was smoke coming out from the hole of my stomach! Then my sister in-law appeared. Talking to us gently (you know like the voice of an angel), caressing our wounds, looking into my eyes. “Neng, you are not hurt, this is just a pretend-strategy so that we can let you get out of here, don’t be scared you are not dying.” I woke up. My throat felt like a desert.
I told my friend Ana about it and she said “baka nagparamdam, magpamisa ka”. I told my mom about it today, while writing this. My mom’s exact words:”nag greet to sya kay sunod mog bday ni linsu.” (She greets you happy birthday, since her son’s birthday is just before yours”). Wow, what a way to greet! Can’t she just say it without having to go to war?
Well, I wish these simple explanations are enough to ease my queasiness. But I’m still feeling that tightness in the pit of my stomach. If it was only me in my dreams, it’s fine. But David was there too. And I’m ultimately paranoid.
I searched the net to see what people say on dream about death. And this is what I discovered:
“Dreams about death can be one of many things. Right off the bat, most people think that a dream about death is a bad thing, but this is not necessarily true.
This dream is very common and often means that something is ending in one’s life such as a long family battle or a battle with a sickness. Things that have been dragging along in your life such as the coming to an end of a career could finally be ending with a dream about death. Other things it could possibly be would be an ending to a relationship. In most cases the relationship or career is making the person unhappy or not a good situation, so the dream is a good thing.
Generally these dreams are a start to something new and fresh. The symbolism of death is most always a positive thing. There are a few cases when it really means that death is going to happen, but usually it means the rebirth of something better. It could also mean that it could be the end of a person’s worries. The worries will die in a sense. The cause of the worry will cease to exist. Another possible meaning could be of prosperity and longevity.“
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Beautiful things. Wonderful people.
Seven days ago today, I listened intently to the message left on my mobile. Nina. A dearest, dearest friend who I first met online, only to find out later on we live in the same city. She wished me good things and was being sincere to say she wasn’t sure if my birthday was last Saturday or today but greeted me anyway. I couldn’t help giggling. It warms my heart knowing that despite her stressful, busy and crazy sched, she found a moment to wish me happiness…
And Mayday, Fred and Raphael, now that’s a triple treat from a thoughtful, loving family…
And Ana, Rox and Gui, another triple treat with melodic effect.
Honestly, the thing about Ana’s message is the sweet words she said at the end. They brought tears to my eyes. You see I have a lot of friends who I know care about me, but only few are vocal about their feelings. And I realize hearing it or reading it makes a good damn difference. It just makes me ecstatic. Now I have to fight my timidity and say ” iloveyous” to people I sincerely care about. Because in the end, if those simple words bring magic to me, they will to others…
And Mila. Gosh, this is one friend whose birthday and her son’s birthday I always forget. And I feel so guilty about it. Like Nina, we also met online and after five years (or more) we still yet to meet. And this week she greeted me happy birthday three times! On my yahoo mail, on my friendster and on my blog (while I’m actually writing this). She is like my stalker. Only I so welcome her he he he…
And Ligaya and Ninev. Two lovely girls: a mother and a daughter. I haven’t met them actually but I feel close to them. And I told her that (which was being expressive). How sweet of Ligaya to send me this…
And my family back in my orig country. I know they are thinking of me today and how they miss me. Love, humility, perseverance and hardwork are the things I learn with them. And these will be the values I’d like to pass on to my little one, and some little ones to come (oh la la)
And my little family in my second homeland: lola, dadou and David. Of course I woke up to their sweet greetings today and dadou’s incessant hugs and kisses which made David jealous (bakit david ikaw bang may bday?) Dadou and lola are teaming up to make a special dinner for tonight, while here I am blogging and David snoring (nye nye nye). Ooops dadou just got in crying…. damn those onions!
Tonight after I’ve eaten what my loving hubby “experimentally” cooked (it’s going to be his first time to prepare “the dish” with lola as the coach), and with champagne there’s only one wish I’m going to make when I blow my candle(s): that beautiful, sincere people like them above who bring such enormous joy and wonder to this special day will experience the intense happiness I am feeling. Because guys it’s not the glitters of material things but your sincere thoughts and LOVE that matter to me the most.
Thank you so much guys. I do so LOVE you too!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Pigs!
(a typical street sight in Paris. just wish it’s not your car in-between)
Aside from dog poop and pee that don’t seem to go down the drain even right after the cleaners wash the streets or yet even after a heavy rain, there’s another thing about the French (exception to the civilized few) that makes my skin crawl of infuriation (picture me pulling my hair with my two hands).
Driving.
It’s something the French are so bloody neurotic at. They lack of responsibility when it comes to road safety, resulting the government to declare war against the motorists. Fact: 5,184 dead people in between Aug 2004 to July 2005. I personally consider it high for a so-called civilized-developed-first-world country. The authorities are cracking down on drunk-driving and are implanting radars even in the remotest part of France.
But my principal concern is on our very own street. Everyday, as in everyday, you can be sure “may nabunging awto” (bumped cars) parked downstairs. I hear it, I see it.
Granted Paris is lacking of parking space, it doesn’t give the motorist the leeway to just insert his/her pathetic car in-between a tiny space. Common sense na lang po, kung wala ng konsensya (it’s common sense if one totally lacks of conscience). But they do it. Like wild maniacs high on the “herbes” (grass). They bump forward, they bump backward, they wiggle, they squeeze until their cars settle in. Gosh, even wild-driving in urban Philippines, I’ve never seen like it. It’s not even a question of caring other’s property, they don’t really care if their own cars get scratched, twisted or cracked. They don’t give a damn shit if their cars are practically sandwiching you, you can’t move when you want to go. You are there. Blocked. Imprisoned. And just go on honking your horn. They don’t even check what damaged has been done. They just walk on like everything is normal.
Just how do you name that kind of mentality and attitude?
Monday, March 13, 2006
the sun is melting!
I’m so fed up with winter.
When does this end?
Inulan kami ng ice sa Disneyland noong sabado.
Kahapon, sinarhan kami ng pinto sa Centre Pompidou.
Walang tao noong tumuloy kami sa karaoke bar kahapon.
Tapos ngayon, I woke up to a freezing minus 3, kahit maganda ang araw.
And the next 72 hours promises a full time nursing job.
I so hate winter, especially when the sun is shining bright.
The sun rays feel colder than the white light of a full moon.
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
I’m so growing white hair…. more and more
(Updated : evidence of the crime inserted) - The crime is never-ending. Literally. I was in the toilet and when I came back to check on him, he has ripped apart two dvds: baby van gogh and barney farm! Devil, I almost cut both of his arms. Pahikbi-hikbi pa ang torpe, grrrr!!!! He has thrown away euros out of the window in a split of a second. My heart sunk. Dadou’s fuming. If only I could see the future, the nearest one, at least, I could have taken him out earlier even if it’s raining knives! Whaaaaa!!!
Today he is not allowed dvds anymore and all his collections are out of his reach. He is grounded. War has started and time to show who’s the boss. Ah sus, graveee na!
More to his crimes. He likes to help around the house. Vacuuming, wiping dirt off on surfaces, sweeping the floor, putting dirty clothes in the laundry, the works. But c’est catastrophe à la fin! The next thing I know, bowls and milk-bottles are piling up in the garbage bin, no wonder I’m running out of bottles. Washing liquid and soap stacked inside the refrigerator. His doudou (teddy bear) inside the microwave oven. Pots and pans nicely piled inside the oven. The worst, after wiping surfaces, he wipes his own face with the same tissue he uses for cleaning furnitures. And he goes, “there, clean!”
A blog is like a box of chocolate, you’ll never gonna know what you are about to read. Gratefully, it’s a box where I can devour a whole page babbling away without gaining an inch in my waistline and where anger is expressed openly… smoke exiting through the chimney!
But. Really. I’m still fuming mad!
Tuesday, March 7, 2006
i’m just so out of words with this one…
Monday, March 6, 2006
Gouter (snack) time – and I thought it was so yummily easy!
David (sour-faced, nodding): Ok.
Mama and David in the kitchen.
Mama: Do you like this? (offering a smiley-happy-choco-cookie)
David studying the package for like 5 minutes, shakes head: No.
Mama: Do you want this? (Belin crackers)
David, brooding: No.
Mama: This one is yummy, you like this. (Tuc crackers)
David, crisp: No!
Mama (losing patience!): This? (butter cookies)
David, (equally losing patience): No!
Mama: Do you want a choco cake? (savane cakes)
David, replies becoming automatic: No!
Mama: Do you want mama to make you a sandwich with nutella spread?
David: No, pizza, pizza!
Mama: No, I’m not going to cook pizza!! Do you want cornflakes in a bowl without milk!
David, studying my sour-face: No!
Mama, giving up: Ok, then so you are not eating anything!!!
David, screaming: baket, baket! (biscuit)
Mama, scoops up David and shows the choices: Tell me what you want!
David: ça! (that) pointing at savane cake.
Mama, holding the box at David’s eye-level: Are you sure you want this?!
David, nodding: Ok, ok!
Mama opens the box and gives the cake to David.
David, looks at the cake with disgust and said: No!!!
Mama: That’s it! You are not having your afternoon snacks!!
David: There! There! (insistently pointing at berlin crackers)
Mama exasperated, speechless, opens the cracker box, pours a handful into the bowl and whisks David to the coffee table.
David hears mama saying: This is good, yum, yum. Bon appetit mon bébé!
What mama is actually thinking: Gosh, I’m gonna let you starve one day and let’s see if you have the strength to actually make choices… LOL. Mama is wicked. But who wouldn’t be? 20 minutes just to make a decision on what to put partly in his mouth and the rest on the floor!!!
My golly and he is not even two years old yet! I’m really looking forward to similar scenarios coming up in the not-so-far-away future! By God, mothers out there, so help me!
